A Necessary End

It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.”
William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

My eyes were shut tight, locked together, as my upper eyelash clung to my lower one. In fact they were shut so tight, I’m sure it was evident that I wasn’t actually asleep. They were desiccated as paper, having shed out their anguish, all through the night.

My mother placed a hand on my neck and tried to shake me awake (and I lay there, desperately hoping, she could shake away the stinging pain, gnawing me to rawness).

Pain demands to be felt
__  John Green, The Fault in Our stars

I feigned to have reveled in a contending slumber, but my hollow sockets were candid.

One peek at my guarded expression told her everything.

emo

She squeezed my hand and switched on a reassuring smile, that usually, made my qualms dissipate into nothingness, but not now. Not today.

“We need to leave” she sighed

*****************************

I jabbed and prodded at the car seat, with my nails, owing to the lack of things to do. It wasn’t grief anymore now, than anger. All the sorrow, had been swabbed off by those tears, saturated with pain. Now, it was just me, pumped with fury and antagonism, directed to the world, to life, to god.

Every time a memory kicked in, with her, needles pierced my gut.

“You should have stayed back Aadz (that’s what she calls me)” mum said.

“It’s the last time mom, ever” I turned away.

***********************************

With every step on the staircase, my heart grew heavier and heavier, as marbles, composed of her memories, smiles and tears fell unceremoniously.

1 more step, brought an obstructed view of the glass box. I bit my lip and ran inside.
There lay my cherub angel, composed as always, rejoicing in her paradise.

The dam broke, and the Niagara of sorrow cascaded.

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